just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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