We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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