If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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