Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
