I skipped work to stalk him.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
so let's talk penis.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
