I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
