I molested 6 butterflies tonight
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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