Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
