She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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