are you so shy because you have an std?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
