Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
