i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize