Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
