I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
