One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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