Are we in a gay sports bar?
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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