I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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