why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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