i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
