Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
