How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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