He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
soo... how was my night?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
