Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
