i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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