fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
