The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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