i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
