i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
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Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
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If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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