Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
