"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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