oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
