It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
