We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
