A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
