oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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