Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Boobs are out for the taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize