so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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