break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
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I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
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yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Pants are for mortals
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize