btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
