Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize