I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
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