Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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