it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Randomize
