My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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