I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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