Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
