drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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