I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
