i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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