So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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