I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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