kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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