By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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