"it" just moved
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
