the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Life is so much better after having sex.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
