Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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