dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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