As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Randomize
