His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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