ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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