I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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