Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
