i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
