clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
