I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
