why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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